Welcome And Free Resources

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Well, hello friends. Related to 349, and I am so happy that you are here today. We are talking about what to do when you feel like your products or your services or your business or your abilities just aren't good enough. Like you find yourself comparing your business and what you offer to others, and it makes you feel down. We're going to talk about this and what to do because I think the reframe that I am going to teach you today is going to change everything for you. It's going to help you hold your head up high and move forward with confidence and build this business you've been dreaming of. If you're new here, welcome. I'm so glad that you have found this podcast. I have no doubt it's going to help you along your business journey, whether you're in the idea stage, starting, or growing, this is all for you. I've been running my businesses for the past 26 years and they have meant the world to me. This podcast is six years old and it just means the world to me. And I know how much all of what you are doing means to you. And I know you just want to make money doing what you love. So make sure you get plugged in. You can click any of the links down below. I have free downloads for any stage of business and if you're starting a podcast. So I have some information there for you can print out, things you can put on your desk, free training. So make sure you get those now. And also I'm on Instagram, start with Kimberley Brock. I don't post all the time. I'm just going to tell you. I try, but I want you to follow me there because when I start moving things forward more, no. And I'm also on Instagram. So if you're on Instagram, come join me there. I'm at Start with Kimberley Brock. I'd love to connect with you too. You can always DM me there if you have any questions or anything. And if you've been listening a while, thank you so much to all my loyal listeners. Make sure you are subscribed. I know many of you will come and search for this podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, but make sure you're subscribed because that way when new episodes drop, you may get a notification within the app, or it will also pop up there on your screen when you're looking at like new episodes that you need to listen to from various podcasts. So make sure you hit the subscribe or follow button, whatever it is in the podcast app that you're listening to. So that is it. Thank you all. And I'm so excited about your business journey. And I'm really excited about this episode because this is going to massively help you going forward. Okay, enjoy. Well,

Why Comparison Hurts Creatives

SPEAKER_00 2:40

hello, friends. I'm so happy you're here today. This topic is so near and dear to my heart because I know how it is. When you are a creative, like you are, many of you may not even think you're a creative, but you actually are. You can be a service provider, you can have an online store, you can be doing all sorts of things and not think that you're actually creative because maybe you're not actually making something with your hands, but you are because you've got lots of ideas and they're very personal to you. And your business means a lot to you. What you're offering means a lot. And it's people like us who often will get stuck in the rut of comparing ourselves to others in our market. And do you think that that's actually helpful and productive to compare? Well, I could actually argue that at some points it is constructive because it can sometimes make you realize how your business may be lagging behind or oh, give you some fresh ideas that will spark your own way of doing things. So I love to get inspiration from other business owners who are doing things, but I never want to copy, right? You don't want to copy other people. But sometimes it can spark something in your brain. You're like, oh, wait, that's a good idea. I could do it like this, right? So I think comparison can be good and fruitful in certain ways. But I also truly believe that there's a lot of you out there that are stuck in this loop of comparing your business to other people's businesses, comparing your products, comparing your services, comparing your website, comparing your Instagram, comparing your logo, comparing all the stuff and feeling less than. And wondering like, am I even good enough to be here? Do I even belong here as a business owner? Do you find yourself doing that? I know some of you are probably shaking your head yes, right now. Are you like, do you ever find yourself just feeling insecure? I mean, it's kind of like teenagers these days when they're on Instagram or TikTok and they see people that are all fit or have the perfect bedroom decorated or the perfect hair or nails, and they can feel less than, right? But we cannot let ourselves get in that loop. Today I want to talk to you about this, and I'm gonna give you a reframe that is gonna change how you look at things. Okay. So think about it when you were starting your business, if you if you already have your business, or right now, while you're starting a business, how it feels. Kind of put yourself in that mode. We know how it feels. When you put your heart and soul into something and you put it out into the world and you're like nervous, you're like, what are people gonna think? People think I'm stupid. Do they wonder why I'm the person that's starting a business? Am I smart enough? Am I good enough? Is the product priced enough? Is it high quality enough? Is it cheap enough? Is it pretty enough? Is it useful enough? Is it easy to order? Is it not easy to order? We we think about all these things and we wonder are we good enough? Like we can research what other people are doing and we'll see their amazing websites or capabilities, we'll see their amazing offerings, we'll see their reviews, we'll see all their aesthetic Instagram posts. And it kind of makes us jealous. You think sometimes it makes you feel jealous, but it can also just make you feel like less than, like, how come I don't have the capabilities? And you may even start making like thoughts and assumptions, like, oh, because I don't have enough money to do this, or I don't have enough experience, and they do, or I'm not pretty enough, or I'm not good at sales enough, I'm not as good on social media, I'm not as good on a podcast, I'm not as good on YouTube, or maybe I'm just not good creatively. Like, y'all, we can literally spiral out of control, wondering if we are good enough to be where we are. Like, do we actually belong? It is a spiral that we can get caught

The Psychology Of Belonging

SPEAKER_00 6:56

in. And here's why we get caught in this spiral because feeling like we belong somewhere is actually a fundamental human motivation. Okay. I was doing a little research on this. I'm like, what is it about belonging? Y'all, as humans, this stems for our evolutionary drive for survival. Humans who were in tribes and groups were excluded, obviously, if they didn't survive, right? You you weren't going to be alive, right? But one of our most basic needs, and according to a psychologist that I was reading some info about, his name is Roy Baumeister, okay? Our our most basic need to belong is on par with food and shelter. I want you to think about that for a minute. It is on par with food and shelter. So feeling excluded triggers that same brain response as physical pain. It said it can trigger the same brain response as physical pain. What is happening? I had no idea that it was zyste. And we can also agree that being uncertain whether we belong or not, like getting stuck in that do I fit in loop, it undermines our focus and our motivation and like how we act and our performance. Don't you agree? Like if you're sitting there in a state of uncertainty, you are not going to be at your best. And I think business owners are very, very vulnerable when it comes to this because the comparison is everywhere. Back in the day, you know, 30, 40 years ago, there were no online stores. So you only were comparing yourself to stores in your area. You would have a physical store, right? Or maybe you offered a service and you would go to people's houses and you would know the competition in your area, but you have no idea about the rest of the world, unless you saw it in a magazine or newspaper or on the news. Now it's just ideas are put in front of us. Alternative choices to what we offer are put in front of us every day. We're seeing it in our face every single day, just like high schoolers on Instagram. They are seeing what maybe they don't have the long, beautiful hair or the beautiful skin, or they're not as fit. Like, do you see how this can chip away at your self-confidence? Because we're seeing it all around. And that belonging feeling is fundamental to us. So everyone, for a moment, just sit here and realize that feeling like you belong in this industry or in your market or in your niche or you belong as a business owner is like part of like your core sense of self and sense of being. That's what I got from researching this. Like it is a core thing within our soul. And I don't even know how to word this right because I'm not a psychologist, but I'm I'm saying this in like layman's terms, okay? That belonging or feeling feeling like we're good enough for our industry, whatever market you're in, really hits our soul. It really hits our soul. And it's a real thing. So I don't want you to downplay that you're a weirdo because you have these feelings. You're not a weirdo. This is basic human evolution. This is what happened to us, right? So we, though, have to be cognizant enough to get ourselves out of it. We cannot sit in this state. Do you really think that Elon Musk or Steve Jobs or any of these top people who are innovators and come up with things are sitting around all the time going, but wait, they're better than me. They're probably looking around at competition, going, Oh, this is what they're doing. I can do it better, or I can design it more effectively. Or, yes, that is an amazing design. Like if you're Steve Jobs back in the day, he would see the Dell computers. I used to work at Dell, so I kind of understand this industry of like PCs versus a Mac. And Apple was sitting there going, wait, I can make it more beautiful, more aesthetic, more sleek, more modern, right? They had that edge, but that didn't make Dell computers sit here and go, well, we stink and we shouldn't even be doing this. They are staying in their lane. Okay. So if you're sitting here wondering, do I actually belong here? Like what is happening? I want to give you these quick three steps and then the reframe. Okay.

Three Questions To Prove Value

SPEAKER_00 11:51

So first of all, to get yourself out of the loop, I want you to sit here for a minute, whether you sell products or services and you've been doubting your ability or comparing yourself to others, I want you to ask yourself these three questions really quick. Okay. Because this is how you're going to know you belong. Number one, does my product or service actually solve a problem that is worth paying for? Like, is it a good product? Like, like, does it solve a problem? If you can say yes, it solves a problem. Like, think about the person out there that is suffering from the problem or would love or is looking for or would be so excited to hear about what you offer. So think about them for a minute. Would you agree that it solves a problem? I think the majority of you here, if not all of you, like have something that solves a problem. I hope you do. Because then you're probably not getting any sales if you are not solving a problem, right? And a problem could be, oh, they need a gift for their friend. Oh, I want clothes that have sayings on them that represent how I feel. Like it can be a very benign problem. Like, not even really a problem, but people will make themselves believe that it's a problem, like, oh yeah, I do need that sweatshirt. I already have 50 sweatshirts, but I do need another one, right? It solves a problem. Whether, whether it's actually really that big of a problem or not is not the question. Does it solve a problem? You, whatever you offer, it solves a problem. So I'm gonna go ahead and say yes on this because I think you wouldn't have made it or you won't be offering it if it didn't solve a problem, right? Number two is would you want this? Would you want the product or service that you're making? And why? I mean, I don't want you to go down a whole rabbit hole right now, but would you want it? I think you would. You wouldn't have made it. So, number one, again, does it actually solve a problem? Okay, yes, check. Number two, would you actually want it? Would you want to buy it? Would you enjoy it? Would you like it? Okay, yes, check. And number three, the third thing that you can ask yourself to prove to yourself that you actually do belong is what is the feedback that you've gotten when you've either talked to people about the product or service or you have actually let them use it. So if you've gotten any feedback that's positive, like is that feedback decent? If you haven't gotten any feedback from any other person besides yourself, that may be why you feel a little uneasy because you don't really have any affirmation. I always tell my clients that you should be talking to people about the product or service, but you should also be offering it and getting feedback, whether you offer it for free or at a discount, depending on your product or service, whatever it is, something. So you have testers who can give you affirmation and feedback that are honest. I'm not talking about someone who is just going to gaslight you and tell you it's amazing. And you have actual people that would pay for it. If you have, I'm gonna say yes for you because I kind of think most of you have done this. You know that other people value it, they would pay money and they've given you good feedback that it works, that it actually works. Okay. That's how you know you belong. If you said no to any of these, just go back and start working on them. Make sure it solves a problem, make sure you would actually want it, and make sure other people agree that it works and it's good and it's you're good to go. If that is the case, you belong here. You belong here. So if you know you belong, is that really the question you should be asking yourself when you're comparing yourself to other people and you find yourself in that spiral? Is that question, do I actually belong in this world? Do I actually have what it takes? Am I actually good enough? Is that the question that you should be asking yourself? I'm gonna challenge you today. If you find yourself in that spiral and you're asking yourself those questions, whether you're good enough, whether you belong, whether you have what it takes, I want you to reframe

The Million Dollar Contribution Reframe

SPEAKER_00 16:08

it. And here is the million-dollar reframe. Okay, instead of do I belong here or am I good enough? It's what can I contribute? What can I contribute to my niche? What can I contribute to my market? What can I contribute to this industry? What can I contribute? Not how stinky am I compared to all the other people, but what can I bring to the table? What can you bring to the table? And I guarantee when you have this introspection and you ask what you can bring to the table, your creative juices flow, you sit up a little straighter, you get excited, you kind of get those feel-good hormones going. You're like, well, I know what I contribute, I can contribute X, Y, Z. Right? I can contribute this. For example, for me, right? I'm a coach. I help people one-on-one. That's what I've been doing recently, and what I'm doing right now is I help people one-on-one. I can contribute one-on-one help for those people who sit there and go, I have no one to ask. I've got a list of questions, I need help right now. I can help you with your business, starting your podcast, like getting things going. I can do that. But if I sat here all day going, oh my gosh, look at these other women business coaches that have written five books. They've got four audiobooks, they've been a speaker all over the nation. They have a group program that costs 20 Rand to get in. They're famous. They have 200 billion Instagram followers and an awesome YouTube channel. Like, what if I was doing that? That's what they're bringing to the table. But do you know what I'm bringing to the table? Somebody who can just say, you can have help right now. Let's get these things knocked out. There are people out there who want help right now. When I meet one-on-one with people, they're like, I know, I just have these lists of questions. I just need someone to help me now. Right? So that's what I can bring to the table. You have to think about what you are bringing to the table? What can you offer? What can you contribute to this industry? Because all of us together make a fantastic industry for something, right? Let's say you design toys and you're like, there's 80 million other toy manufacturers, there's huge one, huge ones, and they're really good. And there's all these famous YouTubers that are talking about all the toys. But what why is your toy different? Is it is it something different? Does it keep the kids off their phone? Does it keep them occupied for hours? Is it cute? Does it have different colors? Is it softer? Is it safer? Is it made of better material? Like, what can you bring to the table? Think about it. When you look at your business like that every day and go, what can I, me, my capabilities, my brains, my experiences, the time that I want to spend on my business, what can I bring to the table? What can I offer? What can I contribute to this industry to get my little piece of the pie? Like, what is my little corner of the world? Right? When you reframe it like this, it will help you. So I truly believe the question should not be, do I belong? Am I, you know, good enough? Blah, blah, blah. It should be, what can I contribute? What gifts and skills do I bring to my industry? What can I offer my people, me? What can I contribute to them, to their life, to make it better? And when you zone in like that, it puts blinders on you where you don't see everybody else and you just see your lane. And that's what you want. So today, all of you amazing people listening, I'm so happy you're here. I want to challenge you to go out into this world and don't ask, do I belong? Do I fit in? Am I good enough? You ask yourself, how can I contribute? And when you look at your product or services, you go, Yes, this is how I can contribute. This is how I can use my God-given gifts for greater. This is how I can make a difference in people's lives. I'm so excited for you. I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of you. You're amazing. Some people never do this, they never have the courage, and you do. So that's awesome. So that is it. Y'all have a wonderful day.

Subscribe Review And Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Make sure you hit subscribe to this podcast. And if you even have been listening for a few episodes and you find value in this podcast, would you leave a review? That would mean the world to me. Okay, that's it. Until next time. Bye now. Now, this episode may be over, but our relationship does not have to end here. Head on over to Kimberlybrock.com, and yes, you can get more valuable information for your journey. And you know what? You don't need to go through this alone. I would love to help. Thank you so much and have a great day. Bye.