Speaker 1: 0:07

Well, hello friends. This is Kimberly and I'm so excited you're here today, because we are talking about how to create the friends and community that you have yearned for.

Speaker 2: 0:20

So many of you tell me that life is going great, but there's just this little void that you have, where maybe you don't have the friend groups, the friends, the community that you long for, and maybe even at times, you feel lonely. Some of you say that. So today we're going to talk about this. I'm so excited. I think it's such an important issue for a lot of women out there. Even teenagers Literally females of all ages are telling me this, from like middle school up to high school, up to college, up to newlyweds, up to new parents, up to, you know, parents and families with you know, teenagers and even empty nesters. I even had someone tell me their 82-year-old mom was feeling this way too, and so we're going to talk about it today. And here is the cool thing, y'all.

Speaker 2: 1:16

I have a cool story first, before we begin this episode is that I did something yesterday finally, at the age of 53, that I've been wanting to do for a very, very long time, but I've been super scared to do it, and some of you might have an idea what I'm talking about. No, it's not jumping out of an airplane or climbing a huge mountain. It's something that I wanted to do especially. I was thinking about it before I started this podcast and some of you may have an idea, who've listened to me for a long time, but finally, last night I did my first public speech. I guess you could call it. Yes, I spoke in front of people live, in person. I've never done that. Y'all know I do this podcast. I've done it for six years. I speak behind a microphone with maybe my dog in the room. No one is here, no one's judging me, no one's doing anything, no one's smiling, no one's laughing, no one's in awe, nothing right, and I don't have to worry, I can be in my pajamas.

Speaker 2: 2:25

But last night I spoke at an NCL meeting with women and their middle school and high school daughters. I don't know if you know what NCL is. It's called National Charity League and it's a mother-daughter, mother-daughter, mother-daughter volunteer organization and so what we do is serve at different philanthropies around our community. We also have like monthly meetings and our girls have have monthly meetings and it's separated by grade, from 7th through 12th grade, and usually you join when your daughter is in like 7th grade and you stay in it all through their senior year. So we are in it and at the end of last like school year, the president of our chapter here had kind of nudged me and said Would you want to be part of our Inspiration Committee where every other month you get up and you speak and there will be one other inspiration person as well and she will do it on alternating months, but you'll get up and speak and just share something inspirational.

Speaker 2: 3:22

And I thought you know what I'm so honored that they asked me to do this at our monthly meetings. But I realized, like how silly it was that I never actually volunteered for this because I wanted to do it. I actually wanted to do it, but I have been terrified of, like, actually getting up and doing public speaking. It's something that I've yearned for but I never did and I always feared it. And last night, y'all, I actually did it and there was maybe my guess is 125 people more or less Somewhere around. There is my educated guess based on how many people were in the room when I was looking out and it was such an honor and people were so kind after and said it was an inspiration. And I just want to encourage you all, especially with today's topic, to do the things that you're scared to do, if you have felt that little sense of like unfulfillment in your life in a certain area, or a yearning for something more. I know today we're talking about friends and community, but if you have felt that, I encourage you today to really take this message to heart, because after last night I was just like I did it and now I'm so excited to do it again.

Speaker 2: 4:35

I was so nervous on the way and my daughter was like gosh. This reminds me when I had to get up in front of her AP class. She said and she had to give a speech and she goes. You know, I had my teacher sitting there grading me, making sure I was saying the right things and giving the right information. She's like tonight this is what she said last night on the way she goes tonight you don't have to worry about any of that. You just get to show up and inspire people and talk. No one's grading you nothing. And I thought, ava, you are exactly right. I get to go up there and just inspire people. That's all I had to do.

Speaker 2: 5:07

There was no expectation I could have put a quote up on the board, but I could have done anything I wanted, and what I talked about is what I'm sharing with you today. Okay, so what I did was re-record my speech. I guess you could call it today for this episode, so that's what's coming up. So this is not the recorded version of me live Last night. This is actually me today redoing it, and it's just so rewarding and so freeing to do something that you've wanted to do, so I hope this inspires you. I'm just so thankful I had the opportunity. So shout out to NCL for letting me do this at our monthly meetings, or you know, I'll be doing it every other month, and I'm just so thankful I had the opportunity. So shout out to NCL for letting me do this at our monthly meetings, or you know, I'll be doing it every other month, and I'm just so excited and so relieved that I did something that scared me and I overcame that. I know how you all feel when you're scared, even starting a business or whatever it may be.

Speaker 2: 5:58

Also, too, I want to mention today's episode really has nothing to do with business. You know this podcast has been traditionally a business podcast, but what I'm finding is there are a lot of topics like this, like today's episode, that I would love to talk about, that really have nothing to do with business, but more about developing ourselves, improving our relationships, living a more full life. And so, if this resonates with you, if you've maybe felt unfulfilled in a certain way, or maybe that you have a lack of purpose, or that you just kind of feel like you're flailing a little bit, give me some feedback and let me know that you would love to hear more episodes like today's. Maybe listen to today's episode and decide like, do you like this? Versus just straight business talk, because I've had this little tug at my soul to go deeper with this podcast each week and to not necessarily make it about business, but make it about pursuing greater things in our life becoming more, doing more, being better, improving our relationships all these things so we can lead a fulfilling and purposeful life. So I would love that feedback.

Speaker 2: 7:11

You can always DM me. Start with Kimberly Brock on Instagram. If you listen on Spotify, you can make a comment there. You can always email me. Hi at KimberlyBrockcom. I would love that. So, anyways, do something that scares you and go for things. Today, I'm so excited to share this message about how to build those friendships and communities that you long for. Okay, enjoy. We're going to start out with a question here, and you may be driving or walking, I don't know what it is.

Speaker 2: 7:47

I want you to nod your head or raise your hand if you feel that friendships and community are a very important part of people's lives, that they should be a very important part of your life, raise your hand Now. When I spoke this last night, the room raised their hand. Everyone in the room raised their hand. We can all agree that having good friends and community is vital for us to share the ups and downs, to bond with, to travel with to, to talk to personally, to work through things with, to laugh with. We all know that friendships and community are massively important. But here's the thing Even though we live in the most connected society ever with social media and phones and all the stuff, many of you share with me that you yearn for more friends and community. Like you are missing something when it comes to friendships and community, and it may be that you just, you know, have a few really good friends, but you don't really feel like you have groups that you really click with and you just don't feel like you have that connectedness that you should. You feel disconnected, which is so weird, right? Isn't this weird that we could feel disconnected in today's world? But we all talk about it and we all do, and all ages tell me this, all ages from high school and even junior high, on up to college age, to young adult, to newly married, to you know parents, new parents, to you know people have been married a while my husband and I, right, and even to those that are retired. I talked to a woman last night who told me after the meeting her 82-year-old mom was saying I'm over it, I've got to make more friends. Y'all. This is a real problem. This is a real problem, and so I have to tell you that I asked around why do y'all think that this is a problem? Like, what's the deal? And do you want to hear the answers that people gave me as to why they believe that they don't have the friends and community that they yearn for? Number one the number one answer was nobody invites me to stuff. Nobody invites me to stuff. Number two when I do go to stuff, nobody talks to to me. Nobody talks to me if I do show up somewhere. And number three I'm scared of what they'll think of me. Maybe I'm not wearing the right clothes, maybe I look different than them. I'm just worried that, like, they can tell that I don't fit in and and maybe I'm getting judged not that they mean to judge, but that I'm't fit in and maybe I'm getting judged not that they mean to judge, but that I'm going to get assessed. That you know I am not for them. Y'all. How sad is this? This is what people say. But then I was staring at those answers, those three answers. And do you know what those all have in common? They are putting the responsibility of you having friends and community onto other people. You are saying that the onus is on other people to help you build friends and community. Do you really think that's a good thing to do? Do you really think that that's a good thing to do? Do you really think that that's a good thing to do? Don't you realize that the onus is actually on you to build friends and community? And I think we've got to flip this script, y'all.

Speaker 2: 11:44

This happened to me at the beginning of 2025. So I decided this was my year, that I was going to step out and make more friends and build more community for myself. Okay, and I thought, okay, how am I going to do this? What do I want to be doing? What are the things that I want to do? I was like Number one I want to play pickleball, and if y'all have been listening to me. You know I started playing pickleball and you know I say that not everyone likes pickleball and they don't want to hear about pickleball. Some people don't want to hear about it, some people don't care. I always say it's like cilantro Some people like it, some people don't. It's all good, we all love each other. But I said I'm going to play pickleball and so a club happened to be opening literally five minutes from my house. I was jumping up for joy, so excited.

Speaker 2: 12:24

And, by the way, the reason this year was the year that I decided like like, I need to make a change was number one my daughter got her driver's license last November and I have all of a sudden felt like I have more time. I'm like oh, my gosh, I have freed up time, like I can now do more things for myself, right. And number two y'all know I've been sick since COVID and had all this weird stuff going on. I'm feeling better. Thank you Lord, they are figuring things out. I'm on new biologic and things are looking up and I'm feeling good and I can actually play pickleball. So that's great news, okay, so that is why that was my impetus Like I'm like this is my time, like let's go. I'm not hiding anymore, from COVID to being sick, to being a parent carpooling kids around. And now you're like wait a minute, I have free time. Okay.

Speaker 2: 13:12

So my husband and I go play pickleball and he and I go, and he'd never played tennis really before I played tennis in high school. So I'm like all geared up. I'm like let's go, let's do this. And of course he picks it up fast, because you know how these men are. They just like pick up sports. And I'm like, okay, he and I can do together. And it's not where he's just, you know, beating me so bad. Like this is totally fun, good competition. So we're playing. And every time we go I'm like let's just me and you hit.

Speaker 2: 13:37

And there's 13 indoor courts and the other 12 courts are filled with people playing doubles, and we're over here playing singles, just he and I. And we're going and you know I'm making him hit and drill. And then after a while, he's like you know what? After like several times of us going, he's like we need to play with other people. I think he was like over me, like totally over me, and it's like we need to go play with other people. And I'm like, okay, but I'm nervous. What are they going to think? Are they going to think I'm not good enough? Are all the men going to try to hit at me? And, by the way, playing pickleball y'all is so interesting. There are all nationalities, all languages. It is like this little microcosm of God's creation. It's the coolest thing ever.

Speaker 2: 14:17

I had no idea all these different groups of people played pickleball. So I'm already kind of thinking am I the odd one out? I'm the female, I'm the white girl here. Like, is this even? Like, do they want to play with me Maybe? Like these are the thoughts. I'm being honest with you. These are the thoughts that went through my head. Like why am I thinking that it's ridiculous? But anyways, I'm thinking all of this and I'm like do they want to play with David and I? Are we going to be good? And David makes us start playing and we start playing. And then we're like this is actually fun. We were making some friends.

Speaker 2: 14:51

But then we realized we couldn't remember people's names and I felt so bad because he would get off the court. And I'm like well, I want to play with them again. What are their names? And David and I would look at each other and we're like okay, we have got to do something here to remember people's names. So then we decided I was like OK, just put it together. It's one word Jennifer Lee. So anytime you see either of them, it's Jennifer Lee. So then when we saw them again, we're like Jennifer Lee, how are you doing? So we started remembering. So we started kind of doing like clever little things to remember people's names while we were playing. So that became fun.

Speaker 2: 15:28

David and I are like this little team and we play other couples, we play other men. I mean, a lot of times we're playing against two other guys and I had to get over that. At first I like almost cried because they were like targeting me and trying to hit the ball at me and I was like I have got to get better and be able to defend myself. And then it became fun because it was like this challenge and I started being able to hang right. So and I love playing with men. Now that is what the irony is, because they hit it so hard. The game is fast and I actually love it. No offense to my female friends, I love playing with women too, but I have to tell you there's something about playing with men, where the game is just elevated and it's just tougher and it makes me better, okay. So, anyways, then my husband gets hurt and I have to start going by myself because I'm like I'm not going to not go play pickleball.

Speaker 2: 16:11

I've made some friends, so now I'm forced to go make more friends, and I have friends with all kinds of names that I am not familiar with, so it's even harder for me to remember them. I have a friend that's named Barag, a friend that's named Mahi, and I remembered his name because I just think of Mahi, mahi, fish, and I'm like that's Mahi and I remember him. And then there's like Marshall, and then what are the other names? Oh my gosh, I Kim Jackson, all my friends, all my friends there, and I'm Lim and his wife, alex, like all these people. Oh, another one his name was is Oleg, and I was like how am I ever going to remember that? And I asked him how am I going to remember your name? And he goes, he had a knee brace on and he said Oleg he pointed to his knee because he had the knee brace on. I was like, oleg, I've got it, I've got it. So having these clever little things helped me and I've remembered their name. And now every time I go, y'all my husband is still hurt. I go and people are like hey, kimberly. And I'm like hey Oleg, hey Alex, hey Lim, hey Kim, everybody. I'm saying hello.

Speaker 2: 17:13

All of a sudden I have this community of friends that I never knew I would have had, but it's all surrounding the love of pickleball and it's crazy. I had no idea you could not have told me that I would have had these friends, okay, and it's so much fun. So then it happened again. A couple weeks ago started Bible study and when you go every year to this Bible study this is like my sixth year doing it they change the study of the Bible that you're doing and you sit down with, like, well, 10 to 12 women, something like that, and you have a new leader and they mix it up every year. So you have a new leader and you have a new group every year.

Speaker 2: 17:47

I did have someone in the group that I recognized and I realized when I looked at her that we, you know, had been in a group the year before and I could not remember her name and I thought, how ridiculous is this that I do not remember her name? Like I'm mortified. I'm mortified that I don't remember her name, and it's not just because I forgot it, it's because I never really tried to remember it. I never did anything to try to remember her name, kind of like what I did at Puckaball last year, you know, the year before last, when I had her in my group. I didn't actually try.

Speaker 2: 18:19

I was too worried about myself when I was at Bible study. Do I know enough about the Bible? Am I saying stupid stuff? Did I study enough, like all these weirdo things that I was. That I was thinking and I don't know if this is y'all too, am I the only one? But these are the things that I'm thinking?

Speaker 2: 18:33

And so I sat down this year and we sat down at the first, you know, meeting of the year and I realized the first meeting is the only one where everyone goes around and introduces themselves. Now, all year we wear name tags, but still it's hard because you feel embarrassed looking down at someone's name tag. And I was like I am pulling out my workbook and, as each person introduced themselves, I wrote down their first and last name in the front of my workbook and I just sat there and I have a whole list. It's still sitting there and I love it. Every time I open it I'm like oh yeah, these are the ladies that are in my group. Now some more have come. I'm not going to remember all their names right away, but a couple right away.

Speaker 2: 19:06

I started kind of clicking with and talking with and I said I have to remember their names. So while they're talking, I'm looking at them, like one girl, her name was Jenny, so cute, she had on like a scarf, and so I kind of was like, okay, she dresses all cute and fancy. And I was like, oh, I have a friend, jenny, in Austin that dresses all fancy. Her name's Jenny and I can remember Jenny, like I had my list. So when I had that visual image of all the people in the group, I looked around. I'm like okay, this is working.

Speaker 2: 19:30

And then I got to talking with some of them and it's working y'all, it's building a community so that when we say bye to people, right, I can say bye, jenny, bye, so-and-so, like I actually remember the name, that's. All that it took was just the next little step to remember a name, so that now, all of a sudden, when I see them the next week, I'm like I know their names and we are already building a friendship and community, instead of being embarrassed that we don't remember everyone's name. Here's another thing too At Pickleball I will have to go up to someone and I may have played with them three or four times and I don't let them get on the court without me asking their name again. I'm like I know I met you before. Tell me your name again. And they're like Okay, it's John. I'm like John, it's so nice to see you. I'm Kimberly. Again, in case you forgot. I know we have so many people. I always give them grace and immediately just say my name. And do you know how many times they've said I'm so glad you said that because I had forgotten your name. Do not be embarrassed to do that. Give people grace, let them off the hook. Let them off the hook, like immediately say what's your name. It's John. Okay, awesome, I'm so glad I'm Kimberly I didn't know if you remember that, but it's so nice to see you again. Y'all, that makes all the difference, all the difference, okay.

Speaker 2: 20:43

So that happened to me and y'all see that it's working. I am building friendships and community and I have a couple other things I'm involved in and I'm super stoked about it. Y'all, it is actually working. So I want to tell you today that the onus is on you, that you have to do this. But you may be asking how actually do I do that? Like what? What are the I need? Like little steps, little notes, okay, well, I just kind of shared them with you, but I'm going to put them into three steps that you can take with you when you're out in the wild.

Speaker 2: 21:08

Starting today, starting today, tomorrow, whatever you want to start doing, whether it's, you know, start a new group, join a club, start dancing lessons, an instrument, a group, become a leader of something I don't know what it is for you, your business, anything. You can start building community. I want you to start number one showing up. Show up somewhere, wherever you want to be. Stop this whole nonsense of worrying about what other people are thinking and that no one invited you and no one talks to you. Assume that when you go to wherever you're going to go, no one's going to talk to you. This is not about someone coming and saving you and whisking you into a group and and, magically, with the little fairy dust, giving you a group of friends. This is about you showing up where you are interested, where you want to learn, where you want to be, where you want to lead and show up. So that's number one you show up where it is you want to be.

Speaker 2: 22:06

Number two you warmly smile at people and ask them their name. You look in their eyes and you say Hello, it's so nice to meet you. What is your name? My name's, you know, kelly. Kelly, it's so nice to meet you. I'm Kimberly. How are you? Is this your first time here?

Speaker 2: 22:24

You start talking, you warmly smile at them and ask them their name. This is how your relationships begin. This is like the little seed that you're planning for yourself and for the other person. Okay, and the other people that you're meeting? This is what you do, okay?

Speaker 2: 22:42

So, number one you show up. Number two you smile warmly at them and ask them their name. And here's number three you come up with a clever way to remember their name. You actually have to remember their name. You need to, because when you say bye today or when you say hello, next time you see them, you know their name. Why are we just now doing this? Like we should have learned this in kindergarten and maybe we did, but we've been weird. We've been weird and we've been expecting other people to do it and we've been embarrassed and we've been caught up in our own mind drama. This is it. Let me repeat. Number one show up where you've been yearning to show up. There is somewhere that you've been yearning to show up or something you've been yearning to do. Okay, I don't know if it's start a bar class, start going to a gym, pickleball cooking class, I don't know what it is. Okay. Number two warmly smile at people and ask them their name and begin the conversation. And number three you cleverly remember their name, whether it's recording it on the voice app on your phone when you leave, because you're like oh my gosh, I've got to like type. You know her name really quick. I'm gonna do it on my voice app, type it in your notes, write it in your workbook. Like I did Associate them with a family member.

Speaker 2: 24:07

Do something Like Oleg, remember something that's different about them. Like he had the brace on his leg and I'm like Oleg. That was like the greatest gift he gave me was to help me with that, because I could not remember his name for my life. Right, this is what you do y'all. This is what's going to help you when the onus is on you. Instead of putting it on other people to build your friendships and community, you do it and your life will change. You will start building. It's not going to be overnight. You're not going to have best friends overnight, but you are going to start building the friendship and belonging and community that you've longed for. In fact, I told the girls that were there in high school like some of them are scared to go sit with other people at lunch at lunch tables. Like, go sit with them. They may not talk to you. Go sit by them. Maybe you can try. Maybe you can warmly look in their eyes and introduce yourself. This is how it all begins. The onus is on you. I'm so excited for you. I think if you take these 3 steps out into the wild, you will see a big difference. You will see it, you will feel it, you will be a happier person and you will start having that fulfillment and purpose and friends that you have yearned for. So that's it, ladies and gentlemen. I'm so excited that you are here. I'm so glad that you listened today.

Speaker 2: 25:23

You know you can join me on Instagram at StartWithKimberlyBrock. I'm not on there all the time. I act like I'm on Instagram all the time. I'm not, but if you want to get involved with me, you can. You can plug in that way Again start with Kimberly Brock on Facebook and Instagram, or you can always go to my website, kimberlybrockcom, where I have some great things for you if you're starting your business and getting that going. I may be adding some merch here soon, so that will be fun All things surrounded by you. Know, I'm just getting started and we're just getting started because I believe that's the initiative that we need. We need to realize that we're all in this together, we're all in life together and there's so much ahead for us. Y'all, none of us have tapped into our potential. None of us are living our full potential that I find, and we have so much more to give to the world.

Speaker 1: 26:10

I know you do.

Speaker 2: 26:11

I know you can become more of the person that God created you to be. There's more room for you. There's more fulfillment and purpose. So that's it. Y'all have a great day Until next time. Bye now.

Speaker 1: 26:25

Now this episode may be over, but our relationship does not have to end here. Head on over to KimberlyBrockcom and, yes, you can get more valuable information for your journey and you know what. You don't need to go through this alone. I would love to help you. Thank you so much and have a great day. Bye.